Anyone have a catheter?

Hello all. I cannot begin to tell you how completely AWFUL it is to be blogging right now... As long as I don't move anything but my fingers, it is not too bad, but if I have to lean over, or answer the phone, or pick up the dog... OMG!!!
Today after school, I went to my very first "Women of God" workout... WHAT was I thinking? I mean, my body fat and I have become GREAT friends, so why should it want to leave? It was from 4-6 this evening at our church, and the head Hitler in charge let us out at 5:30, probably for fear that I may fall before I got into my van, and then I'd have to live their on the floor until spring.
You know how they say the 3rd day is the worst day? If it is, then please have someone sing "It is well" at the visitation, ok? I'm already thinking about how I am going to get the kids up from my bed in the morning, since I normally wake them up, because I feel SURE that Garrett will have to HELP ME!!
Graceson had a game tonight, (which she won, by the way, GO GRA) so Shane came by and got her from football practice, so I could "finish". I HAD to change before I headed to the ballpark, for fear that someone would think that I had snuck a baby goat into the park from my smell of the sweatiness in my t-shirt and shorts. I also thought that it would be a good idea, to go ahead and "tinkle" so I wouldn't have to at the game. I couldn't BELIEVE that when I went to, someone had lowered the commode seat a whole THREE INCHES!!! After I got that far, and my thighs were trembling, I just had to fall the rest of the way. (I forgot to tell you that we STARTED the work out with walking lunges after we stretched...) Just in case those or the squats weren't bad enough, we did this prisoner-of-war torture technique, where you get on the edge of a bench then get your legs out from it where you are suspended, just being held up by your arms, and then you "dip" down, and have to push yourself back up to safety, but you are facing outward, so it is sort of backwards! On my way home, when I was having to turn the steering wheel on some of our 90 degree curves, I almost submitted, and just let the wheel fly!
When I finally arrived at the ballpark, I sat on about the 4th row up on the bleachers to keep the scoreboard. BAD IDEA!!! I thought I was going to have to stay there, trapped, because my legs couldn't step down, until the seasons changed. THEN, tonight when I was getting ready to shower, I noticed the beautiful dirt ring necklace that I wore to the ballpark from all my major sweating. I wonder how many people noticed my new jewelry and never mentioned it?!?!
Just in case I didn't feel bad enough, I started wearing my retainers again last night, as my teeth are moving again, and WHAAPPOOWW!!! The ONLY part of my body that isn't hating my guts at this second is my eyebrows, but that is subject to change... NOW you know why I need a catheter. It just hurts too much to move. Nikki, the instructor/trainer/meanie DID call me and check on me and was very encouraging, even though I must doubt that she believed all that she said, but she was SO kind to call me, even though I may have occasionally shouted out that I hated her!! I am thinking that I will change my cell phone number by Friday, because when she sees that I am not there, she'll understand that I just called in dead!! Have a GREAT night, and thanks for sharing a torturing day in the life of the chicken farmer's wife!! I am pretty sure being out of shape is more comfortable than trying to fix it!! love to all!! Jerri